365 Days of Happy - Day 358

It was my birthday today. I'm so fucking old I can't even take it. 23. Am I supposed to write something profound? Probably. Instead, here's something. I had saved this post as a draft and just came across it. I titled it 'Thoughts.' I think I wrote this in June or July. I was so funny back then.

Thought #1
One of my neighbors in the building kitty corner from mine has two cats (see what I did there?). I know this because when I was getting a late-night snack a few nights ago, I could see from my kitchen window a profile of a small cat in their window, and the next day I saw an orange kitten.

I'm seriously considering bringing Simba over to this random person's apartment and saying something along the lines of, Hey I see you have two cats who like to sit on the windowsills I too have a cat who likes to sit on windowsills I bet they all would get along swimmingly do you want to be friends?

Thought #2
I applied at the Black Sheep a couple of months ago and I want to tell you what happened with it, because frankly I find it quite funny. I knew they were hiring for the summer, so sometime in May, I printed out my application, filled it out, and handed it in at the restaurant downtown. I called them a couple of days later and asked them what the progress was, and they said the hiring manager was sure to call me back in the next few days. She did, and I got an interview a couple of days later.

Yes, an interview. For a waitressing position.



I was perplexed, but moreso on what I should wear. I threw on my white skinny jeans and a teal blazer (one of my favorite outfits to date) and went to the interview. I was asked a series of strange questions, such as 'What would you bring to the Black Sheep?' and 'Describe your favorite dish' and then the manager told me that she would talk to my references.

I'm sorry, I thought I was applying for a waitressing job, not an executive position.



She never ended up calling my references. She also never called me back after our interview. I ended up calling and stopping by the Black Sheep at least five times to see what was up. Got vague responses every time. And this rant has nothing to do with the Black Sheep as a restaurant. I'm sure they have very delicious (but expensive) food, but the whole interview process was just unbelievable. 

I'm not trying to sound like a know-it-all, but if you're a hiring manager and you're not planning on hiring the beautiful, charming, personable young lady who really, really wanted a job at your restaurant, at least have the decency to call her back after you've made your decision to tell her that sorry, the position has been filled. At least then she won't have any hard feelings towards your restaurant.
Rant done.


Thought #3
 While I was reading through the comments from this article, The Time I Tried Quitting Anti-Depressants, on Thought Catalog, I came across a comment that mentioned this movie: Make a Killing: The Untold Story of Psychotropic Drugging. I had a few hours off before work so I began watching it. This was my reaction throughout the whole movie.




Basically, this documentary looks at the history of psychotropic drugs (mostly medications to treat depression, any kind of anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and the like) from around 1950 to today and the kind of profits these drugs are making for the pharmaceutical industry.

Half a century ago, if someone had depression, they wouldn't be given any kind of drug. Today, this business is about 'the branding of a disease and the branding of a drug for the treatment of the disease that did not exist before the industry made the disease.' - Jonathan Emord, Attorney. This kind of system is about pure marketing and pharmaceutical companies getting the most amount of money they can out of a new drug.

I was never 'diagnosed' with depression. Like I stated in this blog post, I kind of knew I had it all along. I knew I needed some sort of cure, and after two visits to the health counselor at University Health & Counseling Services on campus, I got a prescription for Paroxetine. Just like that. I was 'treated' by a university psychologist and a university physician, not a psychiatrist. Many psychiatrists, pharmaceutical representatives, chemists and physicians were interviewed during this film. It's a really interesting documentary.

Here are some facts that I learned from this movie.

• Over half of the people that commit suicide in the United States are prescribed to psychotropic drugs, for example: Paxil/Paroxetine; Zoloft/Sertraline; Prozac; Wellbutrin/Buproprion; Effexor; Seroquel; Ultram/Tramadol. My mom and I are both on Paroxetine so does that freak me out? Yeah. Have I ever thought about suicide? Of course. Who hasn't? Yeah, we're getting deep here. I'm also listening to Bon Iver so that could have something to do with me going off the deep end here.
• It blew my mind that 'chemical imbalance' is just a fluke term that pharmaceutical companies use to make you think that something is wrong with you.
• If you are taking a drug that has only been out for a year or two, you are a guinea pig. You are an experiment to see what kind of side effects that drug has.
• There are oh, about a hundred side effects for Paroxetine as of right now. Some include muscle weakness, seizures, and INCREASED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

I dislike how this movie downplays many mental disorders. This makes me think that I'm not even sick at all. I feel like I'm being duped. I don't know how to feel about that.

Happy birthday, Kelso.