By Ron Padgett
Get some sleep.
Eat an orange every morning.
Be friendly. It will help make you happy.
Hope for everything. Expect nothing.
Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room before you save the world. Then save the world.
Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly.
Don't stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don't forget about what made you angry. Hold out your anger at arm's length and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass ball collection.
Wear comfortable shoes.
Don't spend too much time with large groups of people.
Plan your day so you never have to rush.
Show your appreciation to people who do things for you, even if you have paid them, even if they do favors you don't want.
After dinner, wash the dishes.
Don't expect your children to love you, so they can, if they want to.
Don't be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.
Forgive your country every once in a while. If that is not possible, go to another one.
If you feel tired, rest.
Don't be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel even older. Which is depressing.
Do one thing at a time.
If you burn your finger, put ice on it immediately. If you bang your finger with a hammer, hold your hand in the air for 20 minutes. You will be surprised by the curative powers of ice and gravity.
Take a deep breath.
Do not smart off to a policeman.
Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.
Don't go crazy a lot. It's a waste of time.
Take out the trash.
When there's shooting in the street, don't go near the window.