Sunday, June 16, 2013

365 Days of Happy - Day 167

Man oh man. I'm pretty sure everyone in my apartment complex could hear me laugh while I read this.

5 Things People Have To Stop Wearing To Work
By Elissa Marie

One of the things I've learned since graduating and transitioning from college student to full time 'professional' is that not everything in your wardrobe can make that transition with you. When you're trying to fly under the radar as a 20-something year old who may or may not be sure of what the hell they're doing, nothing screams 'I might be a fuck up!' like some of the outfits I've seen on my peers thus far. Fake it 'til you make it baby! But in the meantime, you might not be dressing the part...

1. Leggings as pants. Don't get me wrong, I know our collective love for leggings knows no bounds and I even kind of forgot how I got through life prior to leggings making their way back into my wardrobe. However, I can almost guarantee your boss and co-workers aren't going to enjoy you showing up to work with your camel toe flapping in the wind. Essentially you're wearing tights with a shirt. You know who else wears tights with shirts? Cranky toddlers who make it halfway out of their Sunday finest, and registered sex offenders.

2. Jean shorts. I shit you not, I'm almost certain I landed my first job out of college due to the fact that I showed up for my interview after a person that showed up to their interview wearing jean shorts. I was seriously under-qualified for the job, but knew how to make solid eye contact and could figure out my way around a pencil skirt. Moral of the story is: 'It's great that you have a Masters degree in Marketing and a relative amount of real world experience, but I seriously just can't stop staring at your creepy legs in those jean shorts and your chipped nail polish.' - Anonymous interviewer actually TELLING me about this unfortunate applicant.

3. That one article of clothing that has somehow snaked its way through high school and college in your wardrobe, always narrowly escaping the annual purge of crap you'll never wear again. You know what I'm talking about. That Abercrombie & Fitch tank top with the built in bra is not going to come to the rescue one day under a cardigan. That creepy silk button up from Rainbow is ALSO not going to straight kill it under a cardigan. Notice how you're factoring in a cardigan to hide all this shit under.

4. Anything with any sort of cartoon character displayed on it. Unless you work at a day care of somewhere that you are at the mercy of large groups of small children, this is not OK for work. I don't care who you are or actually how old you are for that matter. I am going to have a hard time entrusting you with a task while you're sitting there wearing a t-shirt with a picture of an anime looking girl with purple hair dribbling a basketball. I wish I could tell you that wasn't taken from real life experience, but it was. Are you shitting me?

5. Your go-to bar high heels. 'But they're that great neutral color that goes with everything and still unbelievably comfortable despite the six inch platform!' Sister, you're not wrong, but there is a time and place. The time and place for those puppies is when you're tying to make your legs and butt look like they could casually destroy a man's heart. Not when you're trying to make your way around a conference room table to hand out printed powerpoint slides and all of a sudden you realize you're wobbling like Fran fucking Drescher trying to get Mr. Sheffield to put a ring on it. Take it down about three or four inches and lose the patent sheen.

My thoughts:

1. I love leggings as pants! I'm actually wearing leggings right now! And I completely agree with her thought of, I forgot how I got through life prior to having leggings in my wardrobe. What did I wear before leggings? JEANS?! I shudder. I also admit to wearing leggings to my internship. I've done it, Heather has done it, other Career & Leadership Development interns have done it. While this social media internship is exactly the kind of job I want after college, I wouldn't wear leggings to that job. Jobs during college and post-college are very different.

2. I had chipped nail polish to an interview once. And I cursed myself while I was walking to the interview, tried my hardest to scratch it off while I was waiting, and tried my best to hide my hands in my lap and not on the table when I had my interview. There were 7 people interviewing me, and they were all women. SURELY one of them would have noticed my chipped nail polish and might have marked it down on their notepads as unprofessional. I was paranoid. I ended up getting the job (of course I did). It was for the social media internship for the 2013-14 school year! 

3. I'm pretty good at giving away old clothes that I never wear anymore. I usually go through my closet a couple of times a year, and I can't really think of any article of clothing that has made its way from high school to now. But if there is, I would wear it with a cardigan, because I wear cardigans every day of my life basically.

5. I can barely walk in flats, much less six inch heels. So I would probably never wear heels to work, and I would NEVER wear kitten heels to work. But of course I would wear heels to an interview. That's just common sense, people.

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