11 Things You Should Stop Saying To Introverts
By Madison Moore
1. Why are you so quiet? Oh yeah? Well why are you always rolling around yapping your pie hole and acting like a gorilla all the time? Getting asked why introverts are 'so quiet' is really annoying, but it just underscores how much value people place on talking and filling up the air with meaningless sound.
2. You must not be that smart - I mean, you never say anything in class. Introverts are quiet because we don't find value in idle conversation, or talking just for the sake of talking. We may not raise our hands right away, but it doesn't mean we're not processing ideas in our own way. We have lots to say about stuff because we are always thinking.
3. You need to get out more. Extroverts think that introversion is something that can be fixed by simply throwing yourself out there, like maybe if you had three more Appletini's than everybody else you'll be cured once and for all. But going out more isn't always the answer, especially when you can enjoy a nice quiet evening at home with your books or video games or Netflix or whatever it is you like to enjoy.
4. Don't worry about her. She's just really shy. But being shy and being an introvert aren't the same thing. Some introverts love going out and being social, but then we need some time to ourselves to regroup and to 'come down' from the experience, so to speak. Getting out more isn't the answer. You just need to accept the fact that sometimes we feel like being out and sometimes we don't. No explanation needed.
5. Speak up. No, you lean in and listen carefully to what we are saying.
6. Are you OK? Because introverts are often quiet and drawn into our own thoughts, extroverts think that we are always mad or upset or sad about something. But we are fine!
7. Why do you hate people so much?
8. Do you have any friends? You're always alone.
9. Are you mad at me? This one is slippery, because people do deal with being mad at someone in a variety of ways, including not talking to them. But in general, we're not mad or upset, unless you're feeling guilty because you know you did something wrong.
10. You're going home already? We just got here!
11. You are so boring. Look, people enjoy different kinds of stimulation. If you want to be friends with or date someone who you think is 'boring' because their lifestyle doesn't match yours, then you should probably try harder to understand them or compromise with them at the very least. That or find somebody who matches your constantly riveting rhythm.